Dr. Shane: In The News

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1 Comments to “Dr. Shane: In The News”

  1. CLARIEMAR says:

    I think you know your ready when you can love what you **** about someone and when you (without a doubt) KNOW that the perosn you are with is willing to put in 110%. This doesn’t mean that they must be perfect, just that you are both always willing to try in a healthy i repeat HEALTHY way. I have seen ppl say we love each other so we WILL make it work but they are verbally abusive and clearly in an unhealthy relationship you have to know your relation ship is healthy.About Loving what you **** BAD HABITS we can ALL find them in the people we are with, lol. But in all seriousness 6 years or less down the line, you will get into what can even be a very small argument one day and just thing Dammit, I **** his damn toes get them away from me I just want a man with nice toes or some weirdness like that, what ever it is nose pickin, who knows? Bottom line.. you will use these things to justify worst outcomes for your relationship and make bad decisions and this isn’t H.S. and college anymore your getting married (actually your daughter is). Anyways. If there is ANY DOUBT keep in mind that you can love someone and NOT be married, its just a paper anyway, this will change NOTHING about who someone is (much like women who think being married will make their cheating boyfriend a loving Man does NOT work that way). So any doubt or thinking twice may be a good sign to wait just a little while longer.Another thing to consider and mention is Nobody is perfect. Remember that every argument and remind yourself why you love someone. Say I love you and MEAN it. This is important because somethings WILL get old, question is will YOU get tired of it *** will leave, friends may come and go for all types of reasons, make sure you are NOT just happy because of where you are in your life now This is called a Situational Love Affair where you are in love with someone and if you both ever move off somewhere without other you know you would rather be back their with other people you care about then with him/ her somewhere else. This happens to people that meet on some beautiful vacation where everything is going so well all the time, this is why its good to find what you **** and make sure you can love it. Can she?and last I guess I would say Make sure he’s your best friend because whether you are similar or opposites you should be able be honest to each other whether your wrong or right, be able to balance interests, know whats most important to the other perosn, I mean this is all important because yes all these sound fairy tale but that’s why relationships dint make it, so you can either say real people DON’T do that but those REAL people don’t have marriages that last till their old either and if that’s not what their shooting for then why not just get into a 10 year engagement instead lol. Its trues that those who do make it all say Hard work, lots of trust and honesty Love is wonderful, but you can love almost anybody, but being IN love and marrying someone is a whole different ballgame so to speak.So hopefully you can find a way to make this into a topic for her and this may help, I am sure YOU already know all this as you are a mom, but I am only one year older then her and these are the things I question as I have been in 3 year relationships, have dated men older and younger and found that its simply different people, love is like math, there’s a formula and everyone’s is different, its just finding out who you may add to yourself in the equation to get the right answer some may seem sweet, some may make you think you cannot live without them even though most people say Find the man you cannot live WITHOUT There are faults here I think its neither, just find someone that fits you, that you love but you can live with AND can never see yourself without Only she know what shes questionable about with her fiancee but hopefully there isn’t much and they are each others yin/ yang and life does go well and love stays strong for the two of them but if not and she goes on with it anyway May the ride be allot smoother the second time around.P.S. um marriage counseling in NJ???go here:but if you want to question whether its necessary or not try this link too:They help and explain a lot. sorry for any typos as i don’t proofread after writing this much, lol.good luckMORE NOTES: Oh yes dear God did I forget financial (I have been through one of those disasters before) I think her not having a job can be an issue, she should always help in someway or at least save up money for financial emergencies if he is that much older hes been there and willing to date someone without a job may be a sign of him either A-loving her enough to look past it or the worse 2 Hes controlling so he enjoys her not having any form of support for herself, no other places she has to go to have run ins with other ppl (jealousy sign) or it makes him feel like more of a man ti be the only bread winner (dear God that would be the worst) either way its important for them to be one but still have two separate lives at times being IN each others face every moment he is at work is not healthy It can always go wrong down the line unless shes pregnant, raising children or starting her own business.Also I understand everyone’s all OMG, if they love each other let them be look, I completely get that you cannot stop her if she wants to do it, but you can advise her if anything seems wrong (Clearly if your asking you are curious what you can say to her) and in the future No I TOLD YOU SO’s just more advice if it goes wrong because she will think of your warning whether you mention it or not so no need to rub it in, your her mom, shes your daughter, you both obviously love each other so just Do what you can for now.

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