Our marriage was all but dead
We both wanted to make it work, or at least to honor our vowels, but we just seemed stuck repeating this painful dance.
Our sole focus was on changing each other, and neither of us wanted to look past our pain and accept we were the one in need of change. In fact, when you told me ‘I would ultimately have to choose between my pain and my family, I saw red and was ready to storm out of your office because she had hurt me and was in the Wrong. Not me…Right?’
After about four sessions, it hit me there is a big difference between ‘being Right and being Effective.’
Towards the end of our sessions, I realized we were both were Right. And that my pain had prevented me from hearing her perspective, which although different than mine had some truth to it.
This process has caused our love and relationship to mature, and has renewed our feelings that we work thought our challenges, which has strengthened our commitment to being better to each other and our marriage.
Today, we have come to accept that no matter how angry we get that being “Right” is overrated compared to having your family.
D. & L. — Washington, DC